"Tiffany's Take On Not So Current Events"

This just in...

The surprise ending to the new Harry Potter Book was revealed in chapter six. Harry quits wizardry and becomes the new host for The Price is Right.

Scary trick turns deadly

South Coffeyville, Oklahoma - A man died after his head slammed into the side of a trailer as he bungee jumped out of a tree to frighten passengers on a Halloween-themed hay ride, authorities said.

Several hundred people were attending the Trail of Spooks Hay Rack Ride on Saturday night when Frank Kester was fatally injured.

"The cable that kept him suspended snapped," said Kassie Johnson, who was on the ride when the accident occurred. "At first I thought it was just a dummy falling out of the tree. The trailer bumped up in the air when he hit. Then everyone started screaming."

The Nowata County Sheriff's Department said Kester was taken to the Coffeyville Regional Medical Centre in Kansas, where he was pronounced dead.

Kester, who was wearing a body harness, also hit a passenger's foot as he fell. The passenger was not seriously hurt and was treated at the scene.

Undersheriff Doug Sonenberg said the investigation was not complete.

"But right now it looks like a tragic accident," he said.

The 2.4km long trail, which was open on Friday and Saturday, raises money for the community's volunteer fire department. Kester was among more than 100 volunteers who participated.


 

Boy reportedly takes stolen bus on route



FERN PARK, Fla. (AP) — A 15-year-old boy stole a bus, drove it along a public transit route, picked up passengers and collected fares, authorities said Sunday.

Ritchie Calvin Davis took the bus Saturday from the Central Florida Fairgrounds in Orlando, where it was parked awaiting sale at an auction, a Seminole County sheriff's report said. The bus belongs to the Central Florida Transportation Agency, which runs LYNX public transit services in the Orlando area.

"I drove that bus better than most of the LYNX drivers could," the teen, who is too young to drive legally, told a deputy after he was stopped and arrested. "There isn't a scratch on it. I know how to start it, drive it, lower it, raise it."

Davis had previously been charged for a similar bus theft. Details of that case were unavailable Sunday.

Passengers and deputies noted Davis drove the bus at normal speeds and made all the appropriate stops on the route. One passenger, suspicious of the youthful looks of the driver, called 911.

The bus had two passengers when deputies stopped it in Fern Park, about 12 miles north of the fairgrounds. Authorities believe Davis picked up a total of three passengers and collected only a few dollars.

He was charged with grand theft auto and driving without a license. A court hearing was scheduled Tuesday to determine whether he will be charged as an adult.

A message left at the home of a man identified as a Davis relative was not immediately returned Sunday.



 

10/25/06

New Jersey's high court has "Opened the door" to Gay Marriage. Sources close to TiffanyMorgan.com say it's the back door.
 

10/21/06

Melissa Etheridge and her partner welcomed twins today...How many baby mamas does Melissa have anyway?
 

Yahoo.com has a link to check out Sandra Bullock's new film "Premonition." I have a premonition that it sucks!
 

Congregations nationwide are finding new and improved ways to suck the life earnings out of ya! Here's the deal. If you're low on cash, and you still use checks, yet, you aint gots none... you can simply swipe your credit card/Debit card and do your church some good. Hell, maybe the Reverend can sport a new car from your good deed!
 

A parachutist punched his last ticket when the dumbass decided to jump off a bridge at a festival in West Virginia today. Apparently, the man's parachute didn't open in time, and oops, splat, e-gats, his body thumped against the raging waters below. The man is a well known parachutist in a sport called BASE. Yeah, Freebase! Sudafed junkie.
 

10/20/06

Fried Coke, now available

From The Clayton News Daily:
— I’m not sure how it’s made, but I want some.
The latest craze at state fairs across the country is something called Fried Coke, I read recently.
According to a Agence France-Presse story I read, nuggets of some kind, and I’m not clear on what they are, are dipped in Coca-Cola syrup, dunked in hot grease, and topped with more Coke syrup.
It’s got to be good.
Being from the South, I’m used to hearing about all kinds of things being shoved in deep fryers, topped with gravy, sugar, syrup, just about anything healthy enough to give you a coronary on contact.
I remember the first time I heard about fried ice cream, I wondered out loud and ignorantly how they kept it from melting.
But deep-frying dessert is not uncommon. Not long after I first started working at the newspaper, someone told me that at a local fair, one group deep fried Twinkies and sold them for a dollar. And they were good.
Don’t even get me started on fried pie.
In the South, the deepfryer is a way of life.
But Fried Coke is uniquely Southern. First, Coca-Cola is an Atlanta-based company. Secondly — well, it’s fried.
I’m sure if we could find a way to deepfry pizza, we would. We already found a way to batter and deepfry steak.
But what about sweet tea? Can we deepfry concentrated nuggets of sugary-sweet iced tea? Maybe garnish with powdered sugar and lemon slice?
Can we deepfry mashed potatoes? I’m sure somebody could find a way to ball up lumpy spuds, plop ‘em in a fry pit and top it with white gravy.
Something I’m almost positive we can do is deepfry green beans. It might be a way to effectively get young children averse to vegetables to give them a second thought. I know that if I’d been served deepfried Brussels sprouts I might have been a little more forgiving.
I’ve got to wonder though, because I’m such an addict of Diet Coke, if purveyors of deepfried Coke offer a low-calorie version.
 

10/17/06

Koren Robinson, WR for the Packers was suspended after pleading not guilty to his drunk driving charges. League officials determined that he had violated terms of his contract. He will not be getting paid during his suspension. In fact, he is thinking about taking up a job at a liquor store where he'll get a discount!
 

Authorities are on the hunt for Wesley Snipes. Five words. Don't @#$K with the IRS!
 

P.Diddy has a new CD called "Press Play." I listened, and I renamed it "Press Stop."
 

And how's this for dumbass? An Arkansas man decided to take matters into his own hands when a fellow motorist gave him a hand signal (screw you)! Wayne Allen Dierks was charged with a "terrorist act" when he fired his crossbow into another vehicle's back window. Dierks weapon was deemed as an "Instrument of crime." Who the hell carries a crossbow any more? Living in Arkansas should be a weapon of crime, better yet, an excuse. Everybody from there is an idiot. For the full story, read here.

 

10/15/06
Honda has released no-emissions, no noise car. They call it a bike.



In Celebrity News, or shall I say, has been Celebrity News? Tara Reid underwent re-reconstructive surgery to fix her botched boob job that left horrible scars on her breasts back in 2004. This time she decided not to buy the Ron-co do it yourself home surgery kit, she is going to a back alley Doctor instead.



U.S. Soldiers are shooting footage in Iraq for a documentary film. So far they've managed to dig up the same footage you can gather at any elementary school playground- people throwing rocks at each other!



Residents in Hawaii were rocked with a 6.6 magnitude earthquake causing power loss, bridge collapses, and even ceilings caving in. Geologists confirmed that it was just Rosie O'Donnell and her bitch doing a Jurassic Park role play session.



United Healthcare CEO, William McGuire will be stepping down citing the reason for the resignation as needing "better benefits."



How about the Raiders? The raiders know just as much about Football as Clay Aiken does about female anatomy!
 

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